LORELAI: I mean, they were extremely common until just recently — historically recently, not recently like “metrosexual is a word now” recently, but recently.
EMILY: Are we still talking about anvils?
LORELAI: Yes, where did all the anvils go?
EMILY: You’re talking about those big, heavy, metal things?
LORELAI: That blacksmiths hammered horseshoes and stuff on. Everyone had them. They were featured prominently in every movie western, so where did they all go?
RICHARD: I don’t know that they were that common.
LORELAI: Wile E. Coyote used them. That’s how common they were.
EMILY: Who?
LORELAI: The cartoon. He was always trying to drop an anvil on the Road Runner’s head or shoot it at him out of a giant slingshot or fire it at him out of a cannon. Inevitably, the cannon tilted up, shot it in the air, it fell down, and made an anvil-shaped impression on Wile E. Coyote’s head.
EMILY: This is a cartoon?
LORELAI: No, no, this just happened to me the other day. I was walking down the street, and this giant anvil — yes, mother, it’s a cartoon.
RORY: I know she sounds nuts, but it’s a very common cartoon.
RICHARD: But that doesn’t prove that anvils were so common.
LORELAI: It does. It proves that anvils were so ubiquitous at one point — is that the word, ubiquitous?
RORY: It depends on where you’re going.
LORELAI: That they knew that children would know what they were and delight in them. That’s how common they were — children watching cartoons.
RORY: That was the word.
RICHARD: I’ve forgotten your point.
LORELAI: Where are all the anvils? I mean, is there some sort of secret anvil storage facility the government is keeping from us?
RICHARD: Or they fell into disuse with the advent of other technologies, and so they melted them down and they’re gone.
LORELAI: But they’re not supposed to melt. They were made to withstand the red-hot hammer of the town blacksmith.
EMILY: This is easily the most pointless conversation we’ve ever had.
LORELAI: I don’t hear anyone chiming in with rational theories.
EMILY: Please change the subject, I beg of you, anyone.
RICHARD: Well the girls don’t know the big news about Jason and me.
LORELAI: You’re pregnant?
RICHARD: We’re acquiring another company.
LORELAI: I was close.
RORY: Already? You just started yours.
RICHARD: The insurance business is changing so rapidly, you have to adapt to keep up.
RORY: It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Grandpa.
RICHARD: Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not a big company. It’s smaller than ours, but very powerful.
LORELAI: Wait, the company is smaller than yours? Your company is two guys — you and Jason.
RICHARD: This company is a one-man operation — Bob Sutton.
LORELAI: So, you’re acquiring Bob?
RICHARD: We’re acquiring his company, and his company is him.
LORELAI: Did he have to give himself two weeks’ notice? [Rory snickers.]
RICHARD: No.
LORELAI: Is there gonna be a sad little going-away party where he brings in his own cake and blows out his candles?
RICHARD: We are all celebrating with a dinner tomorrow — us and the wives.
EMILY: Ugh.
LORELAI: You’re not big on the Bob?
EMILY: Bob’s fine. We’ve known him for years. It’s that dolt he’s married to — classic trophy wife.
RICHARD: She is quite young.
LORELAI: How young?
EMILY: Her car looks [high, squeaky voice] just like Barbie’s.
RICHARD: Regardless, I hope you will be kind to her at dinner.
EMILY: I’ll have to bring my English-to-dumbbell dictionary.
RICHARD: Try and focus on Bob. Bob’s as sharp as they come.
EMILY: He’s very brilliant, I’ll give you that.
LORELAI: Bob’s brilliant, huh?
RICHARD: He’s a Rhodes scholar.
LORELAI: Ask him where the anvils went. …Or not.
-Gilmore Girls-
